The Twelve Days Of A Capitalist’s Christmas

The following song was posted last Christmas.  However, there has been quite a few views of the post the past several days, and since I now have several more friends on Facebook, I thought I would re-post the soon to be Christmas classic again this year.  The great thing about these lyrics is that every year they can be updated and modified utilizing that year’s hottest toys and biggest deals.  Since Christmas is nearly here, and I wanted to post it tonight, I did not have time for any updates.  I’ll save that for next year!  Besides, I have no idea what are this year’s hottest toys.

Is there a war on Christmas?  Yes!  However it’s not being waged by atheists, agnostics or democrats.  Our all-consuming capitalistic form of government, led by their never-ending stream of nearly non-stop commercials everywhere one look, holidays or not, has turned what was once a purely religious holiday, as Christians celebrated the birth of God’s son, Jesus Christ into an orgy of mass consumerism all the while forcing everyone evermore deeper into debt as they finance this two-month-long gluttonous shopping addiction with monthly payments, thus actually spreading holiday cheer  throughout the year.

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays!!!

Steven H. Spring

 

On the twelfth day before Christmas,
Waiting all night just to shop before the break of dawn.
Lord there must be a better way,
Thank goodness, Black Friday doesn’t come every day.

On the eleventh day before Christmas,
There is no time to stop, its shop, shop, shop all day.
Look out, I think that woman over there,
Is about to attack us with her deadly pepper spray.

On the tenth day before Christmas,
The malls are all packed, but there is no time to moan or groan.
Fortunately for me, money no longer is a problem,
Thank goodness for all those four hundred percent interest charging payday loans.

On the ninth day before Christmas,
I really do love that 80-inch HD flat screen TV.
I just hope and pray to God,
That Best Buy will finance it for me.

On the eighth day before Christmas,
They’re all gonna be sold out I fear.
But Junior really does needs,
A new Xbox 360 this year.

On the seventh day before Christmas,
Lights are all hung and ornaments are scattered about the yard.
The credit cards are all at their max,
Oh my Lord, did I forget to mail the Christmas cards?

On the sixth day before Christmas,
Was it an iPhone, iMac, iPod or an iPad?
If I get it wrong, I pray that my precious little Mary,
Won’t be too, too mad.

On the fifth day before Christmas,
There is one toy that I have yet to find.
It’s a cute little blonde haired Barbie doll baby,
I think I just might have enough cash to pay, maybe.

On the fourth day before Christmas,
Thank God the shopping is almost done I shout out with glee.
I no longer can eat or sleep because,
I am stressed out far more than any human being should be.

On the third day before Christmas,
I really would like a brand new washer and dryer from Home Depot.
I just hope and pray that the family car,
Doesn’t get repo’d.

On the second day before Christmas,
All the shopping is finally done.
I am as broke as anyone can or should be,
But why isn’t there a government bailout for working class people like me?

On the day before Christmas,
I am all out of cash.
We were supposed to go to Grandma’s for dinner,
However, we couldn’t afford the gas!

Copyright 2011 SHSmusicGroup

 

 

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