A Fool Of Me

April 24, 2013

In honor of National Poetry Month, I am posting the following words, although I will be the first to admit that I do not consider myself to be much of a poet and/or songwriter.  Hopefully, I am a much better photographer and guitarist.  I just write about my life’s experiences and feelings from my heart and soul.  That said, the following words were penned in response to false accusations made against me by a coworker many years ago.  If I had not been this person’s supervisor, her accusations against me would have been immediately dismissed.  As it were, I was treated by my employer, the Auditor of State of Ohio and its investigators as if I had murdered someone.  They kept me against my will and ignored my demands to speak to an attorney.

Although I was found innocent of all charges made against me by the Auditor of State himself, the allegations resulted in my losing everything of value to me, my job, career, marriage, health and most important of all, my two precious children.  I even lost the proverbial farm.  If I had only hired my attorney before I was mercilessly interrogated, I would have never lost my job.  All I did was speak the truth.  During the four or five hearings that I eventually had, my attorney and I made the dozen officials from the Auditor’s Office, including every high-ranking official but the Auditor himself, look like complete fools.  With every succeeding hearing, more and more higher level officials would attend.  My attorney and I went up against the entire upper level staff of the Auditor of State of Ohio, and I must say, we kicked their ass!  This was the reason why I was fired.

I paid a very heavy price for my mid-life transgressions, however one good thing did come from this hellish tribulation, on my fortieth birthday, exactly one month after the accusations were made against me, I decided to finally pursue my lifelong ambition of playing the guitar and bought my first Fender Stratocaster.  It has been my guitars that have given me the will to live throughout this horrific nightmare!

A Fool Of Me

You made a fool of me, there is no denying it
I should have known better, and you obviously didn’t care one bit
For everyone else involved, it was so plain to see
I was weak, I was trusting, we both know you took full advantage of me

I was living a lie, wearing a suit and tie
The way you flaunted yourself, you were always very flirtatious
You seduced me over time, you know it’s so
And in the end, you wore me down, I just could not say no, could not let you go

You were some one who showed me attention
That was definitely lacking in a failing marriage
It was, I must admit the perfect psychological storm
Obsessive compulsive was certainly at fault; at least I was addicted to internet porn

Mine was not the only head you turned
All the men came running round you had to know
Whenever you wore that dress slit up nearly to your waist
You really did put on quite the show

You played me for a fool; you were just as much in the wrong
When I spoke of my feelings for you, you very easily could have walked away
You could have left anytime you wanted; however, you choose to stay
But you never said a word, and in the end, all I got was this here song

You spoke your peace, accusations were made
But there were many truths that were never told
I am not the only one to blame
Guilty only of falling in love, have you no shame?

If only I had never spoke up to defend myself
Never opened my mouth to speak the truth, I would have never lost my job
When I did, they found out your accusations were nothing but bull
But because I did, mine was not the only head that did roll

I thought you were my friend, I trusted you as such
In the end, that friendship didn’t amount too much
I knew better, but I just could not let go
In the end, I found out that you were just a hussy, a slut, a ho

I am the devil, or so you had everyone believe
You cast a spell over me, there’s no denying it
It was too strong and I was too weak, I just couldn’t fight it
But in the end girl, it was you who did truly deceive

I told you things I should never tell
However, you were just as guilty of that as well
I taught you well, you must admit
The pain you cause, you didn’t give a shit

All the guilt was placed on me, but I did nothing legally wrong
We both know you said many lies
The lives you destroyed, you have to accept some blame
For it was you who was playing a game

I never meant for it to happen, there’s no denying it
You played me for a fool
But you were just as much at fault, can’t you see
In the end, you made a big fool of me

Steven H. Spring

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