The Continuing Saga In The Life And Bizarre Times Of Miss. Rose

Iris #271ARAugust 15, 2015

Regular viewers of this blog page might remember my post from last summer in which I described how I had given away to a neighbor a pretty good size cluster of Iris bulbs, which ended up producing what I thought was the prettiest Iris bloom I had ever seen. Last spring, after doing some yard work for Miss. Rose, I came home with a rather large cache of flowers, including two large clumps of Irises.

Because my garden space is quite limited and the gardens were already quite full, I knew before leaving her house that I was going to give these clumps of Irises to two neighbors, both of whom I helped get started with their own gardens earlier that spring. After all, these were most likely just your typical Irises, the basic light blue/dark blue (I’m colorblind, so the typical Iris might be light purple/dark purple).

A couple of weeks later, while walking by one of the neighbor’s yard, I saw that the Iris I had given him had a single bloom. When I saw his bloom up close, I realized that I had made a huge mistake in giving him this flower, as it was the most beautiful Iris I have ever seen, a gorgeous yellow bloom that seemed much more elegant than the typical Iris. When talking to Miss. Rose a few days later, I happened to tell her this story. As soon as I mentioned a yellow Iris, she knew immediately what I was talking about, as she told me that she had wondered what happened to her yellow Iris. When I was telling this tale to the other neighbor, he asked if Rose wanted the Iris back. I told him, f*ck Miss. Rose, I wanted it back. My neighbor offered to give back his Iris to Rose, but a gift is a gift. And, as I told him, if he ever moved that Iris would be mine again. He teased me all summer long about how beautiful his Iris was.

Later on that summer, while talking to Rose, she mentioned that she had acquired the Iris from her granddaughter, that her granddaughter had a lot more of this beautiful flower, and that she wanted them thinned out. Needless to say, Miss. Rose and I went over to her granddaughter’s house, who just happens to live right around the corner from me to do some yard work, and for both of us to get our own bulbs of this gorgeous flower.

This summer, my yellow Irises were quite stunning; however, my neighbor’s cluster of Irises produced the biggest blooms I have ever seen. His blooms were two, if not three times the size of a normal Iris. And again, he liked to tease me about his Irises. How he ended up once again with the most spectacular Iris I have ever seen is beyond me. He must be living right.

This last comment is an inside joke for dear Miss. Rose, as whenever she might complain about something not going right, I always tell her she must not be living right. I did learn a very valuable lesson, that being never give away any flower unless I know exactly what it is!

Steven H. Spring


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