America Is Dead, Long Live America

April 7, 2023

As one of America’s two major political parties continues to spew countless lies and threats against their perceived enemies, even as far down the ladder as members of school boards and board of elections, their rallying cry is always the First Amendment guarantees the right to do so. And yet Thursday, the Tennessee House of Representatives held a vote to expel three members of the opposite party for having the audacity to join a peaceful protest against Second Amendment gun violence just days after America’s latest school mass murder, this time in Nashville, in which three adults and three children died.

In a rather unexpected twist to this story, The Tennessee House of Representatives voted to expel two Black Representatives, while allowing the third, a White woman, to retain her seat, even though all three were accused of the same wrongdoings.

The whole world has been watching for seven years now, in a state of shock, though many undoubtedly are enjoying every single bit of it, as America’s democracy teeters on the brink of total collapse.

Steven H. Spring
Earth

18 U.S. Code Section 287 ~ False, Fictitious Or Fraudulent Claims

December 13, 2022

It’s long past time for leaders of the Republican Party to tell election deniers, and especially one person in particular, to just shut the #$&% up. Since those spineless “leaders” aren’t willing to do so, it’s time for Democrats to take legal action, charging deniers with violation of 18 U.S. Code Section 287, which refers to filling false, fictitious or fraudulent claims. This section states “Whoever makes or presents to any person or officer in the civil, military, or naval service of the United States, or to any department or agency thereof, any claim upon or against the United States, or any department or agency thereof, knowing such claim to be false, fictitious, or fraudulent, shall be imprisoned not more than five years and shall be subject to a fine in the amount provided in this title.”

Election deniers such as Kari Lake are making a mockery of a once proud democracy with all their election fraud charges, while offering not one bit of proof. I’m no statistician (I did take a statistics course in school), but what’s the odds of massive voter fraud occurring only in one elective office out of all others on the ballot, as is always the case by the deniers? If committing voter fraud, why wouldn’t you do so all down the ballot?

Throw them jail for five years, that will shut ’em up.

Steven H. Spring
Earth

This Is Who We Are

November 20, 2022

Another day, another mass shooting in Second Amendment America, this time at Club Q, a LGBTQ nightclub in Colorado Springs, Colorado, in which five innocent people were shot dead and another eighteen wounded. After every senseless mass shooting, political leaders at every level always declare, “This isn’t who we are.”

I have news for them, this is exactly who we are.

Steven H. Spring
Earth

Gun Ownership In Itself Is Not A Second Amendment Right

May 25, 2022

I hate to keep posting an updated version of my original post, which first appeared on July 28, 2012 after the horrific shooting at the Century 16 movie theater in Aurora, Colorado that left twelve dead and fifty-eight wounded, however, once again a mass shooting has shaken America to its knees. Those who lost their lives yesterday, along with their families dealing with a lifetime of pain and suffering, cry out for me to do what little I can actually do about it, to put into writing my disgust with the gun culture and industry in this nation. This time, nineteen students and two teachers were murdered, along with another eleven wounded, Tuesday afternoon at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas just days before summer vacation was to begin.

Because these mass shootings seem to happen all the time in Second Amendment America, I decided to update the criteria for making the below list of mass murder in this nation since the Columbine High School slaughter, upping the minimum deaths to five in order to greatly limit the size of the post. The really sad thing is that my list includes only a fraction of mass shootings that occur on average every single day in America. Most of these shootings never make the national news and thus go unnoticed, except for the families involved. So far this year, there have been two hundred and fifty-one mass shootings in this nation in which four or more people were either shot or killed in a single event, not including the shooter, which is the criteria the FBI has set in determining a mass shooting.

Despite these senseless tragedies occurring quite often, I can already hear gun rights advocates opining that now is not the time to discuss new, effective national gun control laws, as they always do after every horrendous shooting. If not now, in the wake of twenty-one innocent lives shot dead, and let us not forget eleven others wounded, when is the time to properly discuss gun control? Lest anyone dismiss my ramblings as some tree-hugging liberal, take it from a gun manufacturer; William Ruger, Sr., co-founder of Sturm Ruger firearms has been quoted as saying “No honest man needs more than ten rounds in any gun. I never meant for simple civilians to have my twenty or thirty-round mags or my folding stock.”

Proponents of gun ownership and the firearms industry cite the Second Amendment to the United States Constitution as the right of every citizen to keep and bear arms. However, these folks all seem to leave out the extremely significant first four words of the actual amendment. The Second Amendment, as passed by Congress on December 15, 1791 as part of the Bill Of Rights states, “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

If we cannot agree upon what constitutes a militia (the word dates back to at least 1590 when it was referenced in the book Certain Discourses Military by Sir John Smythe, who gave it the definition of a military force; a body of soldiers and military affairs; and a body of military discipline), there can be no disputing the meaning of well regulated. Yet, these very important first four words of the Second Amendment are never mentioned by gun advocates. It’s as if those four words do not exist.

There is no excuse for any person to own a military assault weapon or a high-capacity magazine clip, yet our politicians who dare have the courage to speak up for sensible gun laws quiver in fear of reprisal from the National Rifle Association. Politicians who do speak out in favor of new gun control legislation face the wrath of the NRA come their next election. To believe that arming every citizen is the answer to curbing gun violence, as the NRA espouses is just preposterous. Growing up during the hay-day of Westerns ruling television networks, the image I always remember is that the very first thing the town marshal did when cowboys came into town after a long, hard cattle drive to visit the local saloons was to take away their guns. However, just the opposite is occurring throughout America as more and more cities and states are allowing the concealed carrying of firearms into drinking establishments. Many feel the need to carry firearms with them into their houses of worship. One can only wonder how God feels about that. My thought is he must be horrified. The ironic thing is that gun ownership does not make a person safer. Statistics show gun owners are far more likely to die from gun violence than non-owners.

The following is a partial list of mass murders that have taken place in the United States just since the horrendous tragedy at Columbine High School on April 20, 1999 when two students killed twelve fellow students along with one teacher and wounding twenty-one others before committing suicide:

Twelve dead in Atlanta, Georgia in 1999,
Six dead in Fort Worth, Texas in 1999,
Five dead in Wichita, Kansas in 2000,
Seven dead in Wakefield, Massachusetts in 2000,
Five dead in Queens, New York in 2000,
Ten dead in Washington, D.C. in 2002,
Six dead in Chicago, Illinois in 2003,
Six dead in Birchwood, Wisconsin in 2004,
Seven dead in Brookfield, Wisconsin in 2005,
Ten dead in Red Lake, Minnesota in 2005,
Six dead in Nickel Mines, Pennsylvania in 2006,
Six dead in Seattle, Washington in 2006,
Six dead in Carnation, Washington in 2007,
Five dead in Crandon, Wisconsin in 2007,
Thirty-two dead at Virginia Tech, Blacksburg, Virginia in 2007,
Nine dead in Omaha, Nebraska in 2007,
Six dead at Northern Illinois University, Dekalb, Illinois in 2008,
Six dead in Alger, Washington in 2008,
Thirteen dead (thirty-two wounded) at Ft. Hood, Texas in 2009,
Nine dead in Geneva County, Alabama in 2009,
Ten dead in Covina, California in 2009,
Thirteen dead in Binghamton, New York in 2009,
Six dead in Santa Clara, California in 2009,
Eight dead in Carthage, North Carolina in 2009,
Eight dead in Appomattox, Virginia in 2010,
Nine dead in Hartford, Connecticut in 2010,
Eight dead in Seal Beach, California in 2011
Seven dead in Grand Rapids, Michigan in 2011,
Six dead (thirteen wounded) in Tucson, Arizona in 2011,
Six dead in Seattle, Washington in 2012,
Five dead in San Francisco, California in 2012,
Seven dead at Oikos University in Oakland, California in 2012,
Seven dead at the Sikh Temple of Wisconsin, Oak Creek, Wisconsin in 2012,
Twelve dead (fifty-eight wounded) in Aurora, Colorado in 2012,
Six dead in Minneapolis, Minnesota in 2012,
Twenty-six dead at Sandy Hook Elementary School, Newtown, Connecticut, 2012
Five dead in Albuquerque, New Mexico in 2013,
Five dead in Federal Way, Washington in 2013,
Five dead in Manchester, Illinois in 2013,
Five dead at Santa Monica College, Santa Monica, California in 2013,
Six dead in Hialeah, Florida in 2013,
Thirteen dead at the Washington Navy Yard, Washington, D.C. in 2013,
Five dead in Spanish Fork, Utah in 2014,
Five dead in Las Vegas, Nevada in 2014,
Six dead in Spring, Texas in 2014,
Eight dead (grandfather/daughter/grandchildren murder/suicide) in Bell, Florida in 2014
Five dead at Marysville-Pilchuck High School, Marysville, Washington in 2014,
Five dead in Morgantown, West Virginia in 2014,
Six dead in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in 2014,
Eight dead in Tyrone, Missouri in 2015,
Nine dead (twenty wounded) in Waco, Texas in 2015,
Nine dead in Charleston, South Carolina in 2015,
Six dead in Chattanooga, Tennessee in 2015,
Eight dead (six children) in Houston, Texas in 2015,
Six dead (single-family murder/suicide) in Platte, South Dakota in 2015,
Ten dead (nine wounded) at Umpqua Community College in Roseburg, Oregon in 2015,
Fourteen dead (twenty-one wounded) in San Bernardino, California in 2015,
Six dead in Chesapeake, Virginia (family murder/suicide) in 2016,
Six dead in Kalamazoo, Michigan in 2016,
Five dead in Glendale, Arizona in 2016,
Five dead in Belfair, Washington (family murder/suicide) in 2016,
Six dead in Wilkinsburg, Pennsylvania in 2016,
Eight dead in Piketon, Ohio in 2016,
Six dead (murder/suicide domestic dispute) in Appling, Georgia in 2016,
Five dead in Green Cove Springs, Florida in 2016,
Five dead in Moultrie, Georgia in 2016,
Five dead in Ravenel, South Carolina in 2016
Five dead in Roswell, New Mexico in 2016.
Forty-nine dead (fifty-three wounded) in Orlando, Florida in 2016,
Five dead (nine wounded in a sniper ambush against police officers) in Dallas, Texas in 2016,
Five dead (family murder/suicide) in Sinking Spring, Pennsylvania in 2016,
Five dead in Citronelle, Alabama in 2016,
Five dead in Burlington, Washington in 2016,
Five dead (eight wounded) in Fort Lauderdale, Florida in 2017,
Eight dead (domestic murder including sheriff’s deputy) in Brookhaven, Mississippi in 2017,
Six dead (workplace murder/suicide) in Orlando, Florida in 2017,
Five dead in La Madera, New Mexico in 2017,
Nine dead in Plano, Texas in 2017,
Fifty-eight dead (four hundred & eighty-nine wounded) in Las Vegas, Nevada in 2017,
Twenty-six dead (twenty wounded) at First Baptist Church, Sutherland Springs, Texas in 2017,
Five dead (ten wounded) in Rancho Tehama, California in 2017,
Five dead (domestic murder/suicide) in Melcroft, Pennsylvania in 2018,
Five dead (domestic murder/suicide) in Paintsville, Kentucky in 2018,
Seventeen dead (seventeen wounded) at Stoneman Douglas High School, Parkland, Fla. in 2018,
Ten dead (thirteen wounded) at Santa Fe High School, Santa Fe, Texas in 2018,
Five dead (domestic murder/suicide, including four children) in Orlando, Florida in 2018,
Five dead at Capital Gazette newspaper offices, Annapolis, Maryland in 2018,
Six dead (domestic murder/suicide) in Bakersfield, California in 2018,
Eleven dead (six wounded including four police officers) at a synagogue in Pittsburgh, in 2018,
Twelve dead (including a Sheriff’s Deputy) at a nightclub in Thousand Oaks, California in 2018,
Five dead at SunTrust Bank, in Sebring, Florida in 2019,
Five dead (including shooter’s parents & ex-girlfriend) in Gonzalez, Louisiana in 2019,
Six dead (including shooter) at a manufacturing plant in Aurora, Illinois in 2019,
Five dead (domestic murder) in Morrisville, Pennsylvania in 2019,
Seven dead (domestic murder) in Sumner County, Tennessee in 2019,
Twelve dead (four wounded) in Virginia Beach, Virginia in 2019,
Twenty-three dead (twenty-three wounded) at a Wal-Mart in El Paso, Texas in 2019,
Nine dead (twenty-seven wounded) in 30 seconds, in the Oregon District, Dayton, Ohio in 2019,
Seven dead (twenty-two wounded) in Odessa, Texas in 2019,
Five dead (domestic murder) in Elkmont, Alabama in 2019,
Five dead in Chicago, Illinois in 2019,
Five dead in Orinda, California at a Halloween party in 2019
Six dead at Molson Coors Brewery, Milwaukee, Wisconsin in 2020,
Seven dead (murder/suicide) in Moncure, North Carolina in 2020,
Five dead (murder/suicide) in Springfield, Missouri in 2020,
Seven dead in Valhermoso Springs, Alabama in 2020,
Five dead (domestic murder/suicide) in Elyria, Ohio in 2020,
Five dead (domestic murder) in Indianapolis, Indiana in 2021,
Six dead (five children, one adult) in Muskogee, Oklahoma in 2021,
Eight dead in Atlanta, Georgia in 2021,
Ten dead in Boulder, Colorado in 2021,
Six dead (domestic murder/suicide) in Dallas, Texas in 2021,
Six dead (murder/suicide) in Columbia, South Carolina in 2021,
Nine dead (murder/suicide) at a FedEx warehouse in Indianapolis, Indiana in 2021,
Seven dead (murder/suicide) at a birthday party in Colorado Springs, Colorado in 2021,
Ten dead (workplace murder/suicide) in San Jose, California in 2021,
Five dead in Chicago, Illinois in 2021,
Six dead in Milwaukee, Wisconsin in 2022,
Six dead (2 wounded) (domestic murder) in Corsicana & Frost, Texas in 2022,
Five dead (domestic murder/suicide, 3 children) at a church in Arden-Arcade, California in 2022,
Six dead (twelve wounded) in Crips/Bloods shootout in Sacramento, California in 2022,
Five dead (2 children) (domestic murder/suicide) in Duluth Minnesota in 2022
Ten dead (three wounded) at Tops grocery store in Buffalo, New York in 2022.

This is a staggering list of senseless murders and family lives shattered, and does not detail the total number of incidents, as to keep the list manageable. What is alarming is that the percentage of Americans who believe we need stricter gun control laws is decreasing. What does it take a nation to realize that something is desperately wrong with its culture of guns and violence?

The NRA convinced a good number of Americans that former President Obama’s hidden agenda was to take away all their guns. As a result, the number of firearms sold skyrocketed during his eight years in office. Yet, the only two firearm bills signed into law during his presidency reduced restrictions on gun control, contrary to popular opinion. Ronald Reagan, the former patron saint of the Republican Party, once said “I do not believe in taking away the right of the citizen for sporting, for hunting and so forth, or for home defense. But I do believe that an AK-47, a machine gun, is not a sporting weapon or needed for defense of a home.”

If a person wants to own a firearm, fine, join a well regulated militia as required by the Second Amendment. We, as a country always seem to be at war, so there will always be a need for someone who aspires to shoot something. I see nothing wrong with a hunter owning a few rifles, and have many friends who hunt, but as a general rule, hunters do not shoot their prey with assault rifles capable of firing hundreds of rounds semi-automatically or automatically without having to reload, while wearing body armor. For anyone to have the ability to purchase military assault weapons capable of creating the type of carnage seen in this country time and again over the past twenty years is asinine.

Be it this latest, senseless mass shooting, tens of thousands of murders committed every year in America’s inner cities or our seemingly endless wars, this is a violent nation. Our founding fathers must be rolling over in their graves.

Steven H. Spring
Earth

Milk, Not Bullets

May 24, 2022

How is it that America, which prides itself on being the world’s all-time greatest economic engine, could not produce something as simple as N95 masks, which has saved an untold number of lives during the ongoing once-a-century pandemic? Now, for several reasons, cannot produce enough baby formula to feed its youngest and most vulnerable citizens after one of the country’s four production facilities was forced to shut down after it was found to be contaminated.

And yet, while in the early stages of a quasi-war with Russia in Ukraine, President Biden has announced we have Taiwan’s back if China decides to invade its former territory. Why is America’s first thought always to start dropping bombs? Where are peace talks between Russia and Ukraine? Why no phone call to President Xi Jinping to see what his plans are and what we can do to change them? Why is America’s first response always to behave like a tough guy, spewing threats for all to hear?

Whenever writing about our use of the military, I always like to quote President Eisenhower from his January 17, 1961 farewell address to the nation when he warned the country to beware the mighty military-industrial complex for it seeks undue influence. However, I have recently learned of his April 16, 1953 The Chance For Peace speech in which he again warned us of the cost of war. Here is what caught my attention; “Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed…The cost of one modern heavy bomber is this: a modern brick school in more than thirty cities. It is two electric power plants, each serving a town of sixty thousand population. It is two fine, fully equipped hospitals. It is some fifty miles of concrete pavement. We pay for a single fighter with a half-million bushels of wheat. We pay for a single destroyer with new homes that could have housed more than eight thousand people…This is not a way of life at all, in any true sense. Under the cloud of threatening war, it is humanity hanging from a cross of iron.”

Steven H. Spring
Earth

The Ballad Of Trayvon Martin

February 26, 2022

I do not profess to be a poet, nor even a decent writer of song, however I believe I know injustice when seeing it. Here is something I wrote after the tragic death of Trayvon Martin, ten years ago today;

The Ballad Of Trayvon Martin

Trayvon Martin, never stood a chance
Shot down in cold blood by a man who wanted street cred
Poor George Zimmerman, he wouldn’t have done anything differently, he said
Didn’t have any choice in a shooting that left young Martin dead

“Fuckin’ punks, these assholes always get away”
Were the words Zimmerman used when calling non-emergency 911
Based only on the color of his target’s skin and the clothes he wore
Pity poor Sybrina Fulton, she had to bury her teenage son

The lawyers say Trayvon Martin was the aggressor, it was he who started the fight
Snuck up from the dark and sucker punched the neighborhood watch captain
Bashing Zimmerman’s head down against the sidewalk
His attorneys said in court over and over again and again

Busted poor George’s nose, and giving him cuts on the back of his head
He was the one screaming for help, his attorneys said
Martin had his hands over Zimmerman’s bloody nose and mouth they assailed
However, the dead boy had no blood or DNA under any of his fingernails

Thought he was a cop, talking the policeman’s jargon
“They always come out at night,” George Zimmerman had said
It was God’s plan he told a popular talk show host
For him to shoot the young man dead

Witness after witness testified that they saw Zimmerman on top during the fight for life
Trayvon was armed with a concrete sidewalk was what the attorneys said in defense of their man
Blows were raining down by the assailant from above, MMA style
Yet it was Zimmerman who had this type of training, Martin had only one small cut to his hands

The gun magazine was fully loaded and one in the chamber, locked and loaded, ready to fire
The defense team tried to say Trayvon was up to no good
Tried to run if only he could, but shot down where he stood
Profiling indeed, as he was nothin’ but a young black man in a hood…ie

George Zimmerman had an attitude and a loaded gun
Young Trayvon Martin was armed with only a 20 ounce ice tea and a bag of Skittles
Stalked like an animal, poor Trayvon Martin didn’t stand a chance
Now he won’t be able to attend his high school’s senior dance

A “creepy-ass cracker” was following him was what he told his friend Rachel Jeantel
Then the sound of headphones hitting the ground and him yelling “Get off! Get off”
There seems to be little doubt that it was George Zimmerman
The life of Trayvon Martin he did steal

Steven H. Spring
Earth

Are We Really Going To War Again?

January25, 2022

How is it that America, who only recently ended its two longest wars, the longest of which ended just a few months ago, is beating its war drums once again? Making matters worse, the foe this time would be the world’s second strongest military, heavily armed with slightly more nuclear weapons than we have. One could argue that we have an obligation to our NATO allies, and if so, let Germany, France and the UK take the lead for once. However, we all know it would be America who supplies the majority of both weapons and armed forces, as is always the case. Europe now gets much of its natural gas, oil and coal from Russia. What happens when they shut off these vital energy resources?

As for our obligation to Article 5 of the North Atlantic Treaty, which commit members to support each other in solidarity, we must remember that Ukraine is not yet a member. That nation potentially joining is said to be the reason why Russian president Vladimir Putin seems intent to reclaim it, in an attempt to keep NATO from his doorstep. Furthermore, Ukraine has been a part of the Russian empire on and off for several centuries.

Every time I hear a politician or political pundit talk in support of war, I feel like screaming at them, raising the question; How many sons and daughters do you have currently serving in the military? Since only one percent of Americans actually serve, my guess is very few, if any of them do.

Here’s a rather alarming statistic; since America’s founding 245 years ago, we have been involved in some sort of armed conflict for 228 years. Whatever happened to diplomacy?

Steven H. Spring
Earth

The Twin Towers #73A

September 11, 2021

The Twin Towers was the name most people referred to 1 World Trade Center (the North Tower) and 2 World Trade Center (the South Tower).  These two buildings, along with 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 World Trade Center, comprised the World Trade Center complex, which stood in lower Manhattan, in New York City until September 11, 2001.  The total cost of the complex was $400 million.  When the Twin Towers, designed by Minoru Yamasaki and Emery Roth, were opened on April 4, 1973, they were the tallest buildings in the world, standing 110 stories.

On September 11, 2001, in arguably the most horrific act of terrorism ever committed in a single day, members of al-Qaeda, an Islamist militant group that was founded by Osama bin Laden, flew a Boeing 767 jetliner into each tower.  One hour later, the South Tower had collapsed followed a half hour later by the North Tower.  By the end of this ghastly day, 7 World Trade Center had also collapsed, leaving 2,753 people dead and many more injured.  All other World Trade Center buildings were later demolished due to being damaged beyond repair.

In the coordinated terrorist attack on that fateful Tuesday morning twenty years ago, nineteen members al-Qaeda hijacked a total of four planes.  One of the four crashed into the Pentagon, located in Washington, D.C., the fourth plane crashed in a field outside Shanksville, Pennsylvania after passengers, who learned of the other hijackings via cellphones, attempted to retake control of the plane.  All told, nearly three thousand innocent people lost their lives that horrendous day.

This photograph was taken, I believe around 1982, thus it was obviously shot on film. The 4×6 print was then scanned onto my computer, at which time some digital adjustment was made to both the color and brightness/darkness levels. Due to the scanning process, some sharpness was lost, and as such the image I view on my flat-screen does not do justice to the original 4×6 print.

If I am fortunate to have you view my photographs and you find the color saturation too much or the color schemes of the mats do not match either themselves or the photograph, please let me know via a comment. Being color-blind, what might look great to me might look like sh*t to everyone else!

Steven H. Spring
Earth

Mitch McConnell, Radical Obstructionist

May 7, 2021

On January 20, 2009, as Barack Obama was being sworn in as the 44th president of the United States, Mitch McConnell and many other high ranking Republican officials met for dinner and a meeting at a steakhouse in Washington, D.C. to discuss their strategy for working (or more accurately not working) with the new administration. According to the senator, their number one priority was to see that Obama was a one-term president. Bad enough as that goal is as a political agenda, the country and as a result the world, was in the midst of an economic catastrophe.

The housing market was in a state of total free-fall due to Wall Street greed, the auto industry was collapsing, two unfunded, ongoing wars (both turned out to be America’s longest), two unfunded massive tax cuts mainly benefiting the very rich and an unfunded Medicare prescription drug plan had many experts declaring the economy worst since the Great Depression. Yet, McConnell’s goal was to obstruct everything President Obama tried to accomplish, going as far as to steal a Supreme Court justice seat solely by doing nothing.

Twelve years later, it’s now 2021 and America is once again at the crossroads, as an once-a-century pandemic ravages the economy, the health care industry and her psyche. Because of incompetence and stupidity, the nation has the highest numbers of cases and deaths in the world. To paraphrase Dr. Deborah Birx, the first hundred thousand deaths are on the coronavirus, anything after that are on the former president. Which means it is fast approaching half a million deaths are on his hands. And, once again, Minority Leader McConnell has admitted his number one priority is seeing President Joe Biden fail.

I have never been a proponent of term limits, as it eliminates much valued experience, however these two scenarios, both occurring at one of the worst possible times in our history, scream out for them, as one person once again is forcing Congress to a standstill.

The problem with politicians is that too many of them place party ahead of country. We end up with politicians pouting like children, whining because their party lost the presidency, refusing to admit to facts. Grow up, Mitch, you’re nearly eighty years old.

Steven H. Spring
Earth

Thank God I’m Not Black (Calm Down, It’s Not What You Think)

March 14, 2021

Twenty-five years ago, in the early stages of a near fatal mid-life crisis, one particular day stands out because things could have turned out much differently had I not been born Caucasian. Having lost everything I had worked so very hard to accomplish, things turned much more serious after losing my job. Prior to that, doctors allowed me to increase the dosage of an antidepressant I was prescribed to an extremely high level, then was forced to withdrawal cold-turkey without medical benefits.

This form of medical malpractice resulted in seizures, panic attacks, choking episodes (I would even wake up in the middle of the night unable to breathe, which was very scary since I was living alone in my old farmhouse out in the middle of nowhere) and diarrhea every single day for ten years. Eating alone became a very nerve-racking experience. So out of my mind that I destroyed my truck in fear I would lose it in my divorce, and it was nearly twenty-five years before I was financially able to buy another vehicle.

Another side effect was that it kicked in my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder big time. Until that point, I never realized I had OCD. Since then, I have come to realize that I suffered from the disease most of my life, as there were two major instances when OCD took control over me in which I could do nothing to stop it, including the occurrence that cost me my career, marriage, family and health. The newest obsession is photographing flowers, which now consumes most of my waking hours. At least that’s constructive, not destructive.

On the worst day of the withdrawal, suffering from all kinds of problems, I walked down the road to a neighbor’s house to see if I could get a ride to the emergency room. Waiting for what seemed like hours to see a doctor, I was in such bad shape that I told the neighbor I had to get out of there. He took me to the health department, and after talking with someone for some time, I was starting to feel better and returned home. That though, was only the beginning of the nightmare.

I laid down on the couch for an hour or so, however when I stood up, I collapsed onto the glass coffee table. The next thing I knew, the long driveway was filling up with sheriff vehicles, an emergency squad and I found out a little while later when they took me to the hospital, my ex-wife and daughter (my son was living with me at the time and was home during this ordeal). Not knowing what to think, I made my way upstairs to get a good look outside.  The next thing I knew, I was being ordered to come downstairs by the sheriff deputies. I told them that I could not move, as I actually could not physically move (this experience happened to me once before, about ten years earlier). After a little while, I was able to crawl over to the stairs and finally able to stand up. Looking down the stairs, I saw two deputies with their guns drawn, aimed up at me, and was told to drop what was in my hands. Don’t shoot, I said, it’s only an address book.

Twenty-five years later, I still suffer from all those side effects from the cold-turkey withdrawal from a very high dosage of an antidepressant. I still take the same drug, however I now take only one-eighth of that which caused, and still causes, me so much trouble.

As the George Floyd murder trial gets under way, I wonder if things would have gone terribly wrong on that dreadful day many years ago had I been a Black man.

Steven H. Spring
Earth